[xXalter-egoXx]

Got this from a co-worker.... hehehe... *I swear... I dunno how we get any work done*



My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who
seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and
told us that "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be
landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could
just put your trays up, that would be super."
On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and
Rather prissy looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground."
She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a
princess and I take orders from no one."
To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a
beat, "Well, sweet- cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I
out rank you. Tray-up, B****."

[The_Heroic_Loser]

Just got this from the Comedy Central site:

What do you get when you have 32 rednecks in a room?



















A full set of teeth.

[ford prefect]

ba doom ching!

[Ikin]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

[sixflags11804]

Hey how do you know that the toothbrush was invented in Alabama?



















Because if it was invented anywhere else it would be called the TEETHbrush!

[ford prefect]

The owner of a golf course in Newfoundland was confused about
paying an
invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical
help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from The
University
of Newfoundland and I need some help.
If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take
off?"
The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my
earrings."
_________________________________

A group of Newfoundland friends went deer hunting and paired off in
twos for the day.
That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the
weight
of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up
the trail,"
the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they
inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going
to steal
Henry!"
_________________________________

The Newfoundland
RCMP pulled over a pickup truck on Highway 1.
The RCMP officer asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

[ford prefect]

i got this as an email, and it made me laugh so much i think i peed my pants:

IF you receive an email entitled "Bedtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY.

Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the "Bedtimes" message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

***WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ***
And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.
Send this warning to everyone!!! THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD!! Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!!And look at you - you're on the computer!!!!

Sad isn't it~~~~

[xXalter-egoXx]

ROFLMAOOOOOO!!!

[xXalter-egoXx]

[The_Heroic_Loser]

LMAO! What a creative way to keep retards busy for 40 seconds!